guilt

professor leatham talked about web presence, and journal guilt. An old friend named blog turned in its grave. I'm back, with lots of new thoughts, and a new busy schedule to weave blogging time into. but i want to write.

sorry Europe, you'll live on in a black and white memory, handwritten, and tucked away with the piles of journals that previously filled my guilt.

now for streams of conscience entitled, rain filled sunshine, God's characteristics, and the absolute infinity of primes.

Bratislava Slovakia

highlights...

-first fireside ever in slovakia

-the french horn during one of our songs

-2 euro's worth of ice cream, and wink at the vendor to add another scoop ;)

-daisy chains at the castle

-skinny dipping at the lake behind our hotel (it wasn't me!!)

vienna.

we were only here for two hours. beetoven's house was closed for those exact two hours. lame. but we got our heads in, and yes, there was a piano.

because a picture is worth a thousand words, and I only have time for fifteen.

Budapest...

a few videos.

1. running in the rain from our show back to the hotel.

2. Hero Square on May 1

Vienna... is coming.

heard in the herold

-I just don't care anymore, I know I should, but I don't
-why 7am, why?!?
-Some people just aesthetically please me.
-Hey its dan it's stan the man so here's the plan....
-I'm like my biggest fan. go me.

innocent intrusion

I'm not quite sure why it happened, but it happened to me. Here it sat waiting for me all day, when upon one click I stepped accidentally into this wonderful world of only one author...and now there are two. When I could have "hidden your shoes" so to speak, I decided instead to leave a gold coin for you to find next time you slipped them on.

Dear Author,

There are times when it is good to be reminded of the things you hope are true. Here are some I have noticed in you, as a friend:

I noticed your smile makes mine bigger, that your laugh does too. I noticed that you mean it, and how much better it is when you do. I noticed that you care, about everyone...not just me. I noticed that you love to learn, that you find meaning where others never looked, that you try new things even if you're afraid.

There are some people that can't get enough of you. You choose the right, and fix it when you chose wrong. You take care of what you have, and make the best of it all. You're not in a hurry, but you're not messing around. You deserve flowers. You see the greener side, and when I'm on your shoulders, I can see it too. You work hard. Really hard. You are worth knowing, and cherishing. You are beautiful.

just a small way to say thanks for being you.

- a friend

for paige

I traversed the freeways with Michelle today and found myself at an opposite campus. oh the u. confession: I secretly want to go to the U for a semester and live in salt lake and take in that city.

My beautiful and classy mom was asked to speak in women's conference this year. Today was her 'test' run as she presented her talk to an institute class.

I love her, I love her poise, her spirit, and her beautiful words spoken from a mother who knows God. I loved her thought on motherhood, and its divine role in all of our lives.

As a part of her talk she quoted an entry form my journal. I was fifteen, and I'd forgotten how I really do feel about motherhood. I was reminded today, and I was grateful.

August 24, 2002

Do you ever have so many dreams and expectations that 'just being a mom' doesn't' seem quite good enough? I know, I know. Being a Mom is the most important thing a woman can do. It is a noble and righteous calling.

But what about Joan of Arch, Madam Curie, Helen Keller, or Eleanor Roosevelt? I've always wanted to be more... important because I stand up and stand out in the world. I wan t to be more.

They say the sky is the limit, so naturally, I want the stars.

When people say 'what will you be when you grow up?' I used to answer a dancer, a soccer player. Now I answer an architect and a pediatrician. I want to work for the CIA or FBI. I'm going to be an astronaut, and I'm going to be a world famous ambassador who has the gift of tongues and can help solve problems with her vast knowledge.

I want to be wise and smart, but playful and fun. I want to go beyond the limits - set new expectations. I want to invent a cure for cancer, patch the hole in the ozone layer, talk to dolphins, discover the mysteries of the rain forest. Then I'll be the first woman on Mars, and invent the rocket that gets us there. I'll work for NASA, I'll be in the government, first woman president. Then I'll go perform on Broadway.I'll help the orphans in Africa, find a cure for leprosy, I'll help the kids with cleft lips in Asia and then... then I will learn to fly - fly with the birds, fly with the wind on my own power.

If the sky is the limit, I want the stars.

I will be quoted like president Hinkley and I'll stand up for my country like Joan of Arch. I'll score the winning goal in the World Cup finals. I will do great. I will be great.

And when I've done all that there will be only one thing greater, to be a God. and the only way to do that will be to follow Heavenly Fathers plan, which means I will be a Mom.

I guess He must know best, He is God. So I won't just be a Mom, I'll be a Heavenly Mother in Training.

So all this time, when I've though about reaching for the stars, well now the plan is to be the one who creates those stars.

Erin