Today in the cabin...

Erin: come back here, your new hair cut is hot, and I have celery breath.

Robby: hold on I'm throwing the broom out the window, our windows are so functional.

up to date

1 hour at a darwin lecture
15 credit hours of class (that's about 50 real hours)
7 hours held hostage at the covey center, in ONE DAY ALONE.
7 more hours for ed
12 hours of work
a few hours for food
not enough hours with Robby

= more hours than four days has to offer.

my country tis of thee

I've looked inward lately, wondering why it is I think the way I think.

The political fire has been breathing down my neck.   The whole world it seems is watching one man, and his attempt to lead a country out of debt and national strife.  I've watched form a far, doing my fair share of blog reading and npr listening.  I feel patriotic, though concerned with some of the decisions being made, I'm happy to see someone trying to change things.  

Patriotism has struck a little closer to home as well.

With MCAT books sprawled around our living room, and Mando player spending more and more time researching med schools, our thoughts have turned to our pocket book.  Our goal is to make it out of BYU without any debt, and with our 3rd semester tuition that comes with PAC every year, that's saying something!  We knew full well though that as soon as we start med school applications our savings would be shot, average application process cost: 7 grand.  yikes!  

Then there's med school tuition, our (well more my) number one school checks out at 68,000 a year.  A YEAR!!  ahhhhh!  

Recently it seems one very interesting alternative to loans has been knocking at our door.  

Join the Military.

Mando player's cousin, and future Military Chaplain, has been talking to us about all the benefits.  Mama S. mentioned that two of the doctors she works with went that route, and a counselor Mando player went and saw mentioned it too, all within 2 days of each other.

How do I feel?  

Well the images associated with the military are mostly the army, and my uncle in Iraq, and his family, who had a rough time, and the fact that their family never had enough money, moved yearly and fell away from the church for a long time.  I love these cousins, but their life isn't anything I would want.  That's my image, the things I associate.

Mando player on the other hand has a military grandfather who is a war hero.  Ever heard of the candy bomber?  Well everyone in germany has, and most people here. When you've made it onto wikipedia, well you've made it.  A total hero, that's my husbands image.  Plus his pilot cousin and cousin who is soon to be  a chaplain.  All very prestigious places to be in the military.

Mando player would get in to med school, serve his residency and then commit 4 years to the military, including being deployed.  That word frightens me.  But so does debt, and this way the military pays for everything.  Of course you don't get paid quite as much, but many people serve their time and then pull out to start their own practice.

There are some interesting questions to still ask, one being, "how did I grow up this fast, since when was I old enough to think about spending 68,000 dollars a year?!"

There is room to redefine the image of patriotism.  It's funny how I claim to be proud of my county, but look down on, or at least not want to be a part of those that protect its freedoms.  It's a noble thing, I realize, I just wonder if it's what I want for my family. But the more we find out, the better that option looks.  Sigh.  I wonder what will happen.

multi-media

We headed to Barnes and Noble for FHE last night, in hopes of finding a book to read together. Anna Karenina, the Woman in White, and A colection of Sherlock Holmes stories were purchased, and Anthem is on our list.

Then we headed to Block Buster, and rented an Oscar Wilde classic, The Importance of Being Ernest.

and what do you think we did for family night?

visions

Christmas eve walks are magical. I remember one with my brother when we were younger. He's in brasil now, and I miss him.

Kirtly's next to serve, and now I have a midnight walk memory with her.

I was getting over a cold, but that didn't matter. She packed the tiny stove, hot chocolate mix, and I of course brought the childrens' book; the little match girl. Derek and Herby completed our gaggle and we headed out into the midnight wonder.

It was a still and silent night, and if I'd been younger I'd worry that we might scare Santa away from the neighborhood.

We wandered in all the magic of new snow and sparkling lights, and I was again intrigued with the beauty of Kirtly Sorensen. She's magical, and makes you feel important. She asked me questions, and I found answers about who she is. Adventuresome, busy, positive, hopeful.

We made it to the 'look out' and took in the beauty of electricity. It's still amazing to me how many lights are on at night. The city was supposed to be asleep, but the road lights said otherwise. We watched, and read, and with the strike of the last match, saw visions for our future.

Herby: probably the green chew toy she would open the next morning.
Derek: A victory to take him to boy's nation
Kirtly: happiness in the phillipeans.
Me: a little long haired brunette named annie. (I'm excited for red too, but we couldn't punish her with daddy warbux references.)

We slowly made our way back home, and I drank in the last of our magical stroll. I love snow, and white, brilliant, quiet beauty. Thanks Kirtly.

fall semester 2008

argh. It's come to this. I've been putting off the reality of my failure, at least in the academic world. I finally stared down my grades, and I was disappointed, in myself mostly. I totally failed. And then I was directed here. and I feel better. Accept reality and move on. Bring on January 5 and 17 new credits.

CAW

I survived the acronym!

Christmas Around the World has come and gone yet again, four times not I've been in the holiday show, but this year was different.

My Folk dance story is similar to his. No I didn't want to be a folk dancer since I was three, but as soon as I knew about Christmas around the world, I had a desire to wear nightgowns and red hopak boots. It was the ultimate arrival. You knew you ahd made it in the folk dance world if you could be seen with a hopak basic and some red ribbons in your hair at the end of a long dress rehearsal.

This year was the year, and I loved every second. It's easy to complain about how much time you don't have, and how many assignments you aren't doing your best on when you devote every evening to the depths of the Marriott center for 5 days straight. But then you stop, and you notice the magic of lit Christmas trees, and the way the puzzle like a way a show comes together. I stopped and watched girls putting make-up on boys, and watched, Ron fixing stressed muscles. Ed is in his element, and is bounding every which way, staying up till 3 am staining bread and salt plates for the Ukrainian presentation. I saw that band and the dancers talking, the girls bonding over dressing room things that I won't mention here, and boys trying to see how much they could eat without affecting their performance.

Christmas Around the world is especially wonderful because it has become a sort of anniversary for mando player and I. A year ago we flirted as I warmed up in an Irish costume to the mandolin music of nickel creek. He played and I danced. Magic. There's really nothing like it.

This year he found ways to surprise me, puzzle pieces, notes, flowers and kiss on stage. I fell in love again with this wonderful red head who makes me see all the magic of Christmas each day I'm with him.

I love that we can express emotion through dance. Chinese was filled with the wonderment of beauty. I remember having those thoughts as I first listened to the song we dance to over a year ago. Hopak is filled with pride for family and values. Israeli is a prayer to God, and I think of the God I know and love as I dance. Irish is magic, always magic, but on Saturday it was different. I collected my thoughts off stage as I prepared for the soft shoe number and my thoughts turned to mando player and the love I feel for him. I danced love, and it was the most beautiful I've ever felt. Love radiated and I felt loved as I leapt across the stage. Then he was there, waiting in the wings as I skipped into the darkness. I couldn't help it then, and I cried knowing that love knows no bounds, and that the love I felt right then would only grow over time.

I love you mando player.