IN-decision

I wish there was a think pink medicine for the heart wrenching feeling that seems to exude through my body every time the acronym is mentioned.

P.A.C.

I could stay. I could suffer through the thin time that will be mine as it's stretched over a dance team, student teaching, and all the other last minute classes I want to take (ie: children's lit, Anatomy, Aerobics teaching methods). I could dance and get paid for it, and next year that scholarship money will actually go towards tuition since there will be no major tour fees. I could be more of a leader on the team being a third year, and help train up a new flock of boys (we're getting a bazillion new ones)

OR

I could not dance. and be poor-er (maybe) and have time for classes I want to take, suffer through an identity crisis and a loss of every and all friends. I could be pushed to seek new friends, and new niches, maybe I'd finally make friends in my ward, and become a soccer player again (ya, remember that ERIN? I wasn't always a dancer) And I would promise myself NOT to be one of those dead folk dancers who seem to weasel their way back into every activity. I would quit, cold turkey, and have my memories of China to keep me company.

why not do it though, I'll never get this opportunity again, so why not? I'll have to quit when I leave BYU, so I should just do it.

But all those girls who'd rather see me leave, when I'm gone I open up another spot on the team, and more scholarships. In fact, everyone I talk to thinks I'm gone already.... and it bothers me! I never said I was leaving!!!

But maybe I just should, give other people a chance, plus I'll just have time to see what else BYU has to offer.

WORST CASE SCENARIO (S) -

Get a scholarship, decide not to do it. Ed takes money back to the pool, people are ousted monies. I'm hated
or
not dance, regret it for 10 monthes

BEST -
live with whatever I choose very happily



ohhh, ewww, ahhhh. I hate this feeling. Bring on the bismal.