forshadow

Mando player spend his sunday afternoons at the hospital, he's been racking up the service hours for a few years now, and recently I've started to tag along.

Today I had a glimpse into the future. Mando and I have had a lot of discussions about family life, and how we want to create ours in the midst of medical school and a residency. It's the number one question he grills the doctors he shadows with, and the different responses are surprising and sometimes discourageing.

Just now a darling woman with a girl on her hip, and two skipping beside her, came in to meet doctor dad. He was in scrubs and on the phone with a nurse while the two skippers played in the large revolving doors at the enterance, their spring time dresses reflected an easy breezy carefree life 4 and 6 years olds lead. Mom had a different look, tired, pregnant, but happy still.

Dad got off the phone and appologized to his wife for taking the call, then he cheerfully asked the girls how church was, to which he got a short and sweet repremand, "it was great Dad, but you weren't there huh?!"

I wonder how we're going to do it sometimes. Mando wants to be the doctor dad who makes it home for dinner, and still has time to play in the backyard... and if that means less hours in the hospital, resulting in less money, that's fine. But the truth is, you don't pick your hours during residency, you're a slave, and the hours are harsh.

I was talking with the irish one on the team, and she mentioned that she basically didn't have a dad growing up. That was comforting. hmmm.

I start to wonder where I'm going to fit in this equation, how moms do anything really, the closer I get the more amazed I am by the moms all around me, and the more aprehensive I become in trying to fill the shoes that surely await.